Beauty queens are really just TOO easy, but I couldn't resist this one: Caitlin Upton, Miss Teen USA South Carolina 2007
Question: Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can't locate the U. S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?
Caitlin Upton: I personally believe that U. S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our education, like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should—our education over hereU. S.
should help the U. S., uh, or, should help South Africa and should help
the Iraq, and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our children in the .
Question:
If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not
live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever,
then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which
is why I would not live forever,"
--Malaea Nelms who was Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA competition..
"Whenever
I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny
like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah
Carey
"Smoking
kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
important part of your life,"
-- Brooke
Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for
federal anti-smoking campaign .
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my
body,"
-- Winston
Bennett,
University of Kentucky basketball forward.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor
Marion Barry, Washington , DC .
"That
lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A
congressional candidate in Texas .
"Half
this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia
Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
"It
isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the
impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al
Gore, Vice President
"I
love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix .." -- Dan Quayle
"We've
got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need ?" --Lee
Iacocca
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is
a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football
quarterback & sports analyst.
"We
don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
certain types of people."
--Colonel
Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
"Traditionally,
most of Australia 's imports come from overseas." --Keppel
Enderbery
"Your
food stamps will be stopped effective
March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away.
May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your
circumstances." --Department
of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
"If
somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack
in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their
heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they
wake
up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S.
Fowler, FCC Chairman
Did
you notice that I don't have any quotes from our President?
That's
because I wouldn't know where to start...
